Psycho

in balfe's class

he isnt here again. we have a cool sub though. i get to write a story for english! but i dont know what to write. i could do what i was already writing which is around 20 pages long buuuuut people say i should just write a new one. . .

oh welllll yesterday was xanga's birthday <3 i remembered at like 10:30 last night. blebleblebleble

im in balfe's class.... he wants his homework. i should finish it. >>; darnit. he wants it from me now.

im bored bored. turned in that stupid incomplete thing. i hate it. oh welllllll



the printer sounds like a dying mouse. kira wanted to kill it. each time someone prints its like SCREEEEEECHDIE

OH NO ITS DOING IT AGAIN. camping tonight T_T whopee...

blah

"I wish those days could come back once more, why did those days ever have to go ;-) ..."

sometimes i think he's talking about me. the times we had and the fun stuff we used to do. but im sure he's talking about kanishke or some other person. :/ he even said once he was bored all the times he's been around me. like at lunch and stuff. no, i have not unblocked him its just amm ishere with her AIM open so i can see his aways...... i doubt this counts as stalking. he knows i can see his stuff if i wanted to.

maybe it does count as stalking since we're technically not friends so technically i shouldnt even see his information. i cant help it. sometimes i just wanna check to see if he's happy and stuff. thats all i really want.

if sara read this she'd hit me for being too nice. how can i be mean to someone i care about so much? i dont understand how people can do that.....


i wanna see happy feet again. but im out of money.... and no one wants to go with me since everyone i would go with (or would go with me) has already seen it.

the weekend has been pretty good. i miss talking to maciek sooooooo much. i just wish things could go back to 9th grade. but i played KOTOR with advice from orlando and chris. im making baked goods for chris as a thank you for letting me borrow his whole xbox and both the games. that was really nice of him. :)


i dont want break to end. its nice getting a break from everything. when im nustled safely in my apartment i dont have to worry about turning around a corner and seeing him there and him seeing me and stuff. not that i dont like seeing him...... but its not fun anymore cause i know that i cant do anything. like, i cant really talk to him or look at him.




its so frustrating. but like i said, as long as he's happy..........

blablabla you're never satisfied. im not goingto give you anything anymore cause you'll just have this same depressed state. theres no point in trying to make anyone happy who will never be happy. blaaablaaaaaaaablaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

oh well. i told her it had nothing to do with her. of course she has no idea. oh well.

amm's at my houseeee for the weekend. yayness. wont get any work done though......

dylan and julia are coming over too. more yayness

not much to do. sic

english: project due dec. 7
japanese: packet
history: paper 3 exam on tuesday, essay with footnotes due monday
ToK: journal i never did
IBES: lab writeup..... complicated
spanish: read story and answer the billion questions that follow
algebra 2: packets


every class, man. not to mention not being able to talk to maciek. i miss talking to him.... :/ wish he still wanted to be friends

i wonder how akid's finger is doing. lol watch him get some disease and be like "elinaaaa!!!!"

I DONT HAVE TO GO WITH MOM!!!!!!!

anyone wanna come over? i made incredi-brownies......

he commented on my xangaaaaaaaaaa <3 prolly cause of the balfe pic. he went to my site twice last night. one at like, 10 and the other at 10:40

hmmm i really want some sweets.

well, today was nothing spectacular.

showed my new Second Coming of Christ poem in english. krauchi was rather. . . . amused. balfe was absent. never did my science work. maciek sat near me on the bus. i made sure not to look at him, its very hard. today was kanishke's birthday, too. helen wasnt sure whether she should go to the IB office to be with his parents and cake..... :/ i dont think i ever said it before but stupid move, kanishke.

great. just great. my gameboy is GONE. my gameboy and my brand new games are gone. i looked all over the house. im gonna ask sawa if she's seen it. i doubt she took it but, i never said this before, but she's sorta manipulative and i wouldnt put it past her..... :/ :/

it was right there..... on the dining room table when i came back from babysitting. i put it down on the table with my english notebook and the two styluses i just got. later i returned to find the stylus, notebook, jacket, but no gameboy OR game. T_T mom hasnt seen it, monica hasnt seen it, i havent seen it.... its nowhere in the house

i wanna play my game! :(



i was rather cheerful on the bus. i dont know why i do that. just cause he's nearby i act completely different. i mean, not completely different but i put on that face. that fake face.

sorta like saying "haha im perfectly happy without you, bastard"

but..... im not. im miserable.

or, maybe because he was nearby i actually felt happy. like i said, i dont know why i do that. is it to bug him? to show him im fine without him? or am i just happy being around him?


i decided not to "friends only" this post just cause....... i dunno. i keep forgetting. and i know he isnt reading my livejournal :-P why would he read my livejournal?? he probably doesnt even know it exists................... if he does he better tell me or im gonna screw myself one of these days. xD

dear krauchi.....
roses are red, violets are blue
just cause you like poetry, doesnt mean we do!


i winged that paper 3 AND i made up a totally random iambic pentameter poem for english.... DURING english.

i have 4 As, 1 B, and 2 Cs. i hope i get one of those up enough so i end up on honor roll

having sara at my place for halloween. amm, wanna come?

zomg paper 3 tomorrow.

looks like i have to do the last two weeks worth of reading.... tonight >>;